MTV, home of the most wretched TV on earth, has somehow managed to outdo itself in Brody Jenner and Ryan Seacrest’s (yes, that Ryan Seacrest) new vehicle entitled Bromance. And yes, that actually is the title of the show. He also managed to get one of his bros Frankie Delgado a producer credit, so some respect can at least be given to his representation. The respect is immediately rescinded when Frankie throws a jealous hissy fit over a birthday card from a gay contestant (can you even make this up?).
It’s not that I don’t understand what a bromance is – I do, and I even have them; that’s not the point. I get that Jenner had his bro-heart bro-oken by someone named Spencer (from the equally horrid The Hills, also thrust upon us by our wonderful friends at MTV) and that he’s looking to replace his fallen bro (actually I don’t). I get that this guy Jenner is a pretty cool guy (depending on your definition of cool), and probably gets a ton of vapid L.A. ass.
What I don’t understand is what exactly the contestants think they’re winning.
Do you think Brody is actually going to be friends with you? Do you want to be friends with him? Obviously the contestants do, because the obscene doting that comes out of their mouths is one of the better ways to lose your lunch. “Brody is like the sweetest dude on the planet. His life – that is like my DREAM life. He’s so good looking, and gets so many chicks. I want to be like Brody!” This is paraphrased, but you get my drift. It’s also said in front of two lax sticks which hang in the background of their bro mansion in Compton (again, not making this up).
Other than his show on MTV, I’m pretty sure Brody doesn’t have a job – he’s pretty much the male equivalent of Paris Hilton. So you go out to L.A., this guy Brody and his two other bro’s basically haze you like freshmen during pledge week, and somehow, someway, he decides to let you be his bro. So now you’re stuck out in L.A., with no job (except maybe a producer’s credit on Bromance 2: Electric Brogaloo), no home, and maybe a quick mojito with Brody Jenner every few weeks for pictures in US Weekly.
Congrats, bro.
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